Is the Spirituality of Christ the Bridegroom for Men, Too?

The ministry of Hope’s Garden began as a response to the need of women who struggled to regain their trust in Jesus after experiencing dysfunctional or toxic relationships.  The goal is to gradually introduce the women to the spirituality of Christ the Bridegroom.  God desires to reclaim the vocabulary of love and marriage.  The women learned of God’s love, respect, and tender care for each person.  The primary analogy, which is directly from Sacred Scriptures, is to assist the women in seeing themselves like a beloved bride of the Christ.  Yet, Jesus loves them far more perfectly than any relationship our earthly lives have experienced.  Where others have betrayed the trust of the women, Christ is trustworthy.

The spirituality of Christ the Bridegroom has been a great source of healing for many women.  However, where the marital analogy powerfully speaks to the feminine genius, it feels less accessible to men.  While the members of Hope’s Garden were content to stay focused on women, the Lord had other plans.  It was a common theme in prayer that God desired to extend this ministry to men, as well.

In my personal prayer life, I have found some consolation in seeing myself as a type of “best man,” like St. John the Baptist who prepared the way for the Divine Bridegroom.  I have helped others come to know God’s unconditional love and unrelenting pursuit for His beloved.  I could see Christ the Bridegroom as a model for husbands, teaching them how to love their wives.  Reading the Song of Songs and many of the writings of the Saints, I saw the bride as Israel, the Church, or humanity in general.  However, I found that, just as the concepts needed to be gradually introduced to women, men, too, need to increasingly deepen our understanding of the meaning of this marital imagery toward a personal encounter with Christ the Bridegroom.

The obvious problem is that the imagery of Christ the Bridegroom positions the men in the feminine role of the “bride.”  This feels unrelatable or even perverse.  On the other hand, it certainly sounds like God to speak in way that is unexpected and stretches my understanding of the divine mystery.  Therefore, it is worth study and contemplation to penetrate the Truth God desires to reveal, not only to us, but to me.

There are at least three stages for men to access the imagery of Christ the Bridegroom.  First, see God’s love for His people.  Put on His heart and love through Him.  Second, learn to love the way the Bridegroom loves.  As you put on His heart, move from a general, theoretical spirituality to a concrete, lived example of the kind of love God envisions.  Finally, let Christ love you.  This is not just a mental or rational action, but a conscious effort to permit God’s grace to set you free from any and all obstacles that prevent you from recognizing, knowing, and living the immense love of our Lord.

Jesus loves me.  This reality demands a response from the depths of my being: to love Him more perfectly.  So many factors have warped my sense of love.  Name the distortion, renounce the lie, ask for the God’s power to free and restore His image in you, and approach the people in your life from the perspective of the heart of Christ the Bridegroom.

Fr. Michael Stalla, D.Min., Spiritual Advisor of Hope’s Garden – Copyright 2025