The Gift That Keeps Giving

How finite persons can give an infinite gift of self…

“Where is life more conscious of its potency than in the pleasure of giving itself away? Must we not say that life is never more alive than when it gives itself up and dies over into the other?… Man is finite, but he is capable of giving himself infinitely.”

Hans Urs von Balthasar, Explorations in Theology V: Man Is Created

How can we, finite human persons, give ourselves away infinitely?

We can only do this by living in union with Christ the Bridegroom. Christ is infinite – infinite love, infinite self-gift. This Lent, I have been pondering how it is possible for me, a finite creature to give myself away in imitation of Christ. My musings have been fed by the writings of the theologian, Hans Urs von Balthasar. As I write this article, I am putting my thoughts into written words for the first time. I hope that my pondering and questioning will inspire your own pondering.

What is kenosis?

Kenosis is a Greek word that literally means, “self-emptying”. In Christian theology, it refers to Christ’s act of self-emptying in the Incarnation. St. Paul used the word kenosis in Philippians 2:5-7, “Have this mind among yourselves, which was in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.”

Christ’s first act of emptying Himself was His entering into the womb of the Blessed Virgin Mary at the Annunciation/Incarnation event. He poured Himself out, emptying His divinity into our humanity. And again on the marriage bed of the cross, He physically, spiritually, and emotionally poured Himself out in love. Sometimes I forget that I am not Jesus, that I am not the infinite God who can continually give and give and give of myself. I have limits, physical, mental, and emotional. I am not created to give myself away in totality as He was and is.

I can use the gift of free will to freely and totally give the gift of myself in prayer and sacrifice. The act of pouring oneself out in love, of emptying oneself – Kenosis – is not just for God, not just for Jesus but for all persons. I am called to a pouring out of self for the good of others in union with Christ, for the life of the world. I cannot imitate Christ’s perfect and infinite kenosis, but I can enter into it, participate in it. 

I cannot physically pour myself out without limit, but I can pour myself out in prayer with no limits. Only Christ, who is the infinite God can lovingly pour Himself out and never become empty. I must allow Christ to continually empty me of all that is not of Him and fill me with His Infinite Self if I desire to enter into His kenosis. Now, all that I suffer as well as all of the graces and joys I receive, I can pour out in Christ.

I can make a gift of myself to Him and in union with Him, I become gift for others. I can infinitely pour myself out because I live in union with Christ, Infinite Love.

Christ first act of emptying Himself was His entering into the womb of the Blessed Virgin Mary. He poured himself out and emptied His divinity and filled our humanity. Again on the marriage bed of the cross, He physically and spiritually and emotionally poured Himself out in love. Sometimes I forget that I am not infinite love as Jesus is. I am not the infinite God who can continually give and give and give of myself. A human person has limits. have limits.  Although, I cannot  give myself away in totality as He can, I can use the gift of free will to freely and totally give the gift of myself in prayer and sacrifice. The act of pouring oneself out in love, of emptying oneself – Kenosis – is not just for God, not just for Jesus. You and I were created and called to a pouring out of self for the good of others in union with Christ.

I think we often fear that if I give myself away, if I pour myself out for others, I will end up empty. We must remember this foundational truth of the spiritual life: if we are in union with Christ, allowing Him to love us, we will never be empty.

As He loves us, He purifies us, empties our hearts of all the attachments that clutter them,  heals the wounds that are obstacles to our being filled to our capacity.  We were created with the capacity to be filled by God Himself – Capax Dei. Sitting at the feet of the Divine Bridegroom Who gives Himself without limits to His brides, we become one with Him.  He pours Himself out into us, and it is only by this in-filling that it becomes possible to pour ourselves out in love for others. Now, we need not be afraid of ever being empty. The giving and the receiving interpenetrate and become one and the gift is infinite.

Kenosis… perhaps that is my word for the new year.  I need the Lord to continue teaching me not to feel guilty for the pain or the exhaustion that just makes it impossible to physically pour myself out anymore. The giving of self does not end when I must respect my humanity and physically stop. Spiritually, in union with my Bridegroom, the gift keeps giving.

Laura Ercolino, Copyright 2025