Coming to Hope’s Garden Home (Part II)

A number of events had transpired that began the transformation of my heart, and the beginning of my call to dedicate my life to Jesus, including an Ignatian experience of deep prayer and the loss of my dear husband. What follows in Part II here is what happened over the past year that directly led me to sell my house, quit my job and ministry and follow Jesus in a whole new way. My husband had been with the Lord now for a few years, and I was adapting to life without him at my side. I don’t like change. Our good Lord knows me well, and He knows that it takes some time for me to get on board! But this little inkling of a movement in my heart started me thinking about whether I would choose to live alone, or if I would seek out a friend who might like to share a home with me. Although my daughters began looking for a condo or townhouse for me, I really did nothing to further this idea. 

Around November 10, 2025, I heard this message from the Lord, echoing throughout my whole being. He said, “Come away with me!” At first this sounded kind of terrifying. I immediately thought of the old convent house at St. John of the Cross, but I surely didn’t want to live there alone. In fact, this was so far from the community in which I had grown up, raised my children, gone to church, and lived almost my whole life.  Losing my husband had been change enough for a lifetime. I didn’t know what to do with this message until a couple days later, when it became, “Come away with me…  in community!” Although the old convent house at St. John of the Cross had been offered for Hope’s Garden to use for workshops, retreats and office space, it had never been offered as a place to live. In fact, the building was occupied at the time by Catholic Charities Offices. 

As the days went by, the message grew in frequency and intensity. Never was it far from my thoughts. Near the end of the month I shared this with a co-worker and friend.  She smiled seriously at me and said that I needed to talk to Laura as soon as possible. I had been waiting to see if God was also talking to either Laura or Fr. Michael about this, but no one said anything like that. A few days after talking with my friend Keri, I sat down with Laura and shared everything with her. I couldn’t read her face as I was talking, and I imagined that she probably thought I was crazy. It sounded crazy to me, too, but I knew it was the Lord. I could feel the anticipation and wonder about what the Lord might be up to with me, and all I could think was that I just wanted to say “yes!” to whatever that might be. 

Laura also believed this message to be from Jesus. A few days later we talked with Fr. Michael Stalla, who also affirmed this to be from the Lord. Father had known me for quite a while by this time. He looked at me and said, “I know this isn’t coming from you.” This whole idea was so outside my usual comfort zone it was all so amazing. Fr. Michael is also my spiritual director, and as such, he asked me about all of the ministries that I am responsible for in the parish…  how did I feel about leaving all of that? And the people? I loved the work I did in the parish, and the people of the parish. I was always looking for more and better ways to engage the people of the parish in growing their faith lives. I looked at Fr. Michael and told him that I could leave it all today – the call is so strong. I told both Laura and Fr. Michael that I have never been more sure of anything in my life, than this call from the Lord.  Up to that point, I had entertained no thoughts of leaving the parish or of early retirement, but now it was almost a done deal.

The next step was to talk to Fr. Matt Cortnik, my pastor and employer at Ss. Cosmas & Damian parish, where I had been employed for 17 years. This move felt like I was on a dangerous precipice, or stepping off a cliff to nowhere, as this conversation would set an end date to my employment, and would change my comfortable life forever. We talked for a while, and Fr. Matt too, affirmed that this calling sounded like our Bridegroom. He urged me to “go and live out your vocation.”  He repeated this a few months later, when the parish was still trying to find someone to replace me, and had been unsuccessful. I told him that I could keep working into the summer until they found someone. Again he said, “No, go and live your vocation. Don’t look back.” My co-workers also affirmed the call, telling me that they saw this coming a long time ago.  Why was I the last to know?

Remember when I wrote about missing the opportunity to walk on water with Jesus in that Ignatian exercise?  Well, be careful of what you pray. I got the answer to my prayer and it was everything promised in the Scriptures.  During rough moments, Jesus was quick to remind me that it was He who called me, and that He who called me would take care of everything! Still, as I was in the final 45 days or so before I was to move, I became very aware of the tumult and turmoil around me. The tempter whispered in my ear over and over again, questioning, “Who do you think you are?”  and raising doubts that God would really want me. Issues with the sale of my house, and wrapping up the ministries at the parish neatly for the still not hired new person, and the fast approaching final paycheck were all pushing in on me, like the wind and the waves that surrounded Peter when he stepped out of the boat. It took a few conversations in the confessional with priests before it was made apparent to me that I had indeed stepped out of the “perfectly good boat” of safety that had been my life these past few years. I was indeed walking on water with the Lord, trusting Him and walking forward. But like Peter, I began to notice the wind and the waves, and I realized I was sinking. I cried out to the Lord over and over again as I reached out to Him in confession, where I knew He waited for me. A young priest that I saw gave me this penance,  “Pray Jesus, I trust in You” ten times before the Blessed Sacrament.” It was soon after this while praying in Adoration that I “saw” in my heart, not Jesus, but God the Father standing on the waves. He was holding me. I was like a small child dancing on the feet of her Father. I was safe. I was loved. I was exactly where God wanted me to be. 

The next question is what does God have in mind for me personally here at the Hope’s Garden Home, and for the ladies who will be joining us? Some of that is yet to be determined, but here’s what I can see now. First of all, we pray. I am learning with some urgency the need to pray for others – that our prayers really matter. We have come up with a prayer plan to pray for particular needs on certain days, in addition to whatever comes up in our hearts as needs. Next, we will focus on the mission and ministry of Hope’s Garden. I’m not sure what that looks like yet, but the Bridegroom is unfolding it day by day. In the meantime, we are getting to be known in the parish communities so that people will come to know and trust the work that we do together for the Lord. Already, parishioners and priests have asked to learn more about our ministry and what we do here. We look forward to sharing the compassionate, healing heart of our Bridegroom with each of them!

Since I’ve come to Hope’s Garden Home, I developed a plan for daily prayer intentions, which we are already incorporating into our daily community prayer.  Of course, we are all always encouraged to pray the prayers of our hearts however the Spirit prompts us, but these also give us a sense of the need for our prayers beyond our own vision. Please join us in lifting up your hearts with ours in your daily prayers!

Sunday – Pray for Pope Leo XIV, our Bishops, Pastors and Priests, Deacons & Religious.  Also pray for our seminarians, and those discerning a religious calling.

Monday – Prayers for the special needs of Hope’s Garden, for its leadership, especially Laura and De, the priests who help with the ministry of Hope’s Garden, and for all those who facilitate groups of all sorts. For all of our encounters with our dear Roses, that they might find rest, peace and hope in the arms of the Bridegroom.  For the Men of Hope, and for all men, that they might come to know and live the love of our Bridegroom.

Tuesday – For the needs of our own families – our children, grandchildren, siblings, and all who need our prayers. Also include here prayers for the healing of hearts, marriages and families. 

Wednesday – For the poor souls in purgatory, including our own deceased loved ones and friends by name. 

Thursday – For the people of our parishes, those on the sick lists, and all those who have asked for our prayers.

Friday – Praise and thanksgiving for all of God’s gifts, for God’s love, mercy & compassion.

Saturday – For peace in the world, for world leaders, for justice. For peace in our homes.

Joni Smith – Copyright 2026