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She Pondered

What does it mean to ponder? I seem to be doing a great deal of pondering lately. Situations, experiences, people, events and stirrings in my heart which I continue to keep in my heart and add to the well of God which He is filling. While I don’t fully understand, I continue to ponder it all.

Our Lady pondered. This word “ponder” which means to consider deeply and thoroughly and to weigh carefully, is something that Scripture notes about Mary, our Mother. Mary pondered these things in her heart while many others in Scripture merely pondered in their mind. This is an important and most beautiful distinction of Our Lady and this type of pondering is how Our Lord desires each of us to ponder.

In Psalms 64:9, the men ponder in their minds what God has wrought.
In Proverbs 15:28, the mind of the righteous ponders.
In Sirach 3:29, the mind of the wise man ponders words.
In Isaiah 14:6, those who see will ponder.
And even in Acts 10:19, Peter ponders a vision not in his heart, but in his mind.

It is only in Mary’s pondering that we see a pondering of the heart. The pondering we see in Mary is the pondering which first begins in the mind and then moves to trust (to rely upon or place our confidence in) and then moves to surrender (to give oneself up/to submit or yield). It is only able to move through trust and finally to surrender when it has penetrated the heart. And this is how Mary ponders… this is how I desire to ponder.

Mary’s heart was receptive because she was full of grace. Her heart of love was receptive to the transformative love which is the love of Christ, our Bridegroom, and this is what leads us to a life made new… resurrected! Our holiness is measured by the receptivity of the bride to the Bridegroom. Mary, because of the singular grace given to her by God and being without sin, is the perfect Bride because she was fully open and fully receptive. In this grace-filled receptivity, she pondered with trust unto surrender, and then she waited.

It seems that I am always waiting for Christ to come and to resurrect me from whatever grave I have decided to put myself in. How can I ponder what He has done for me and His Presence in my heart and in my life and allow our relationship to grow? How can I look to Mary and reflect on how she was able to trust and fully surrender to God even while she was still pondering in her heart what God had ordained for her? Perhaps she didn’t fully know and understand what she was saying yes to, but yet she still said yes and then patiently waited and continued to ponder all these things not just in her mind, but deeply in her heart. Her grace allowed her to openly receive the Word and the words of God into her soul and her ponderings were fully aligned and fully trusting in God. While not fully understanding, she was able to ponder all things in her heart and to allow total trust and total surrender to God, Whom she knew as a good and faithful Father and her Creator.

God is the Potter and we are the clay. The Potter always has the end vision in His mind and that vision is always so much greater than we could ever have imagined for ourselves. As I ponder all the things He is doing in my life and the things He is resurrecting, I can look back and see His Hand over all of it… the experiences which I thought were just happenstance, the people that He has placed in my life that I thought were curiously appropriate for what I needed, as well as the situations which have brought me to my knees. Through it all, my heart is being stretched and formed and molded by the Potter, my Bridegroom. This golden thread of His which He has been weaving and connecting us throughout our journey leads from my heart to His. This is exactly how He wants it.

I will continue to allow the Lord to stretch my heart as I continue to ponder. I know that these ponderings will only deepen my love for Him and my connection to Him will continue to be strengthened and to grow in His love. I am His beloved and, in the end, that’s all I really need to ponder.

Nicky Verna – Copyright 2024

I am a daughter of the King and bride of Christ; Catholic wife to my deacon husband Tom and mother to our 4 children. I am the Director of the New Evangelization at St. Andrew the Apostle Parish; SoulCore leader & Regional Ambassador; Retreat Leader; AbbeyFest Board Member & Unbound prayer warrior. I love all things Catholic and have a heart for women's ministry. I am genuinely in love with Christ!

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