Remembering Who I Am

Into the lonely night I walk, searching for love unknown.
The night, like wool, surrounds the silence of this moment.
Tears unshed, fill up in me and slowly overflow.
I long for love to hold me and stop the aching emptiness.

Sadness vibrates inside my head, just behind my brow,
It radiates down my being and trembles out of me.
I look for home, but remain outside, as others near their hearth.
The night is cold and dank and deep, it steals the breath from me.

In quiet I am passed by, unnoticed, and discarded.
Time ticks away my life and love and day by day is lost.
Can you see my struggle and reach a hand to me?
Can you sit a while with me, that I might know compassion?

Is there a love for me out there, I wonder night and day?
Is there a joy for me inside this broken, beating heart?
Where are the arms that were my home, where is the place for me?
Where is the place to lay my head and release what is to shed?

I have given all I had to give, I gave all of me away.
I did not ask, I did not do, what was good for me.
I let it all be good for you and gave each thing you asked.
Bit by bit I gave all of me, so you could shine your best.

I learned too late to find a voice and ask a thing for me.
I never dreamt of pain and slaps of cruelty.
I never thought it was just a lie, a dream veiled in shame.
I never thought you would refuse and then you’d run away.

So far I wandered from my Lord, and gave away my trust,
To life and love and lies, the idols I did make.
When all did crash and disappear, only You are standing by,
Waiting lovingly for me to turn to You and remember who I am.

Forgive me Lord, for leaving You, and forgetting all Your Love.
Forgive me Lord, for trusting him, the trust that was always Yours.
Forgive me Lord for talking to snakes with lies as sweet as honey.
Forgive me Lord, for begging him to be You.

Into the lonely night I walk and look to You unseen,
With Faith I hold on to this life and push its death aside.
With Hope I look to find the light and joy Your promises bring.
I thank You Lord for loving me and all blessings received.

Copyright 2021, a Daughter of Hope